Sirius Satellite Radio with Car Kit for $70
Me: (thinking) Wow, this looks like such a good deal. Maybe I should just keep it to myself…
Winged Purveyor of Evil: You really should keep it to yourself! Those ninnies who buy your things don’t care about you! They don’t. They’re ninnies!
Winged Purveyor of Goodness: Don’t listen to him. He’s a bad man and he doesn’t know what’s good for you!
WPE: Eh, what do you know you anal spelunker!
WPG: You must do goo…wait, what did you call me?
WPE: Nothing.
WPG: No, you called me an anal spelunker.
WPE: So what if I did?
WPG: Well, that’s a really mean thing to say, now isn’t it?
WPE: Well, what’d you expect?
WPG: I expected at least some gentlemanly manners from you, you cad!
WPE: Cad? CAD? Is that the best you can do? What the hell does that even mean?
WPG: You always do this! You always make fun of my comebacks! Why do you always have to be so hurtful when we have discussions? I knew mother was right when she said…
WPE: Oh, for &@$* sake, don’t bring your mother back into this!
WPG: I very well will bring up my mother anytime I please. She warned me you’d be like this! She said, “Barbra, you have to watch out for that man of yours. He’ll be a handful considering what that job of his is like…”
WPE: There you go again, raggin’ on my job. I told you I’m under a training program!
WPG: What? For eight years?!
WPE: So what, you want me to quit? How do you expect to keep yourself in these fancy robes of yours?
WPG: I already have a JOB!
WPE: You’re a $%&*@^ volunteer, for $%&*’s sake!
WPG: Stop it! Stop swearing! I don’t want to talk about it. You don’t love me! I want a DIVORCE!