Panasonic SV-SW20A 128MB Digital Audio Player (Blue)What can we say about the Panasonic SV-SW20A 128MB Digital Audio Player? It’s an MP3 player that also handles WMA, has a built-in FM receiver, and comes with a pair of behind-the-ear headphones. It’s also got a monochromatic display which (obviously) lets you check what song’s on, which would really be neat if I wasn’t illiterate. And a liar. And really greedy.

So imagine you’re walking down the street and some guy shouts at you, saying “Mm mmm, girl! Where you been keeping that jelly this whole time? I swears I gots to get me some of that!” And then you say, “Why you gotta do that? Be all disrespectin’ and s***?” And then he says, “Woman, I just lookin’ at the fine piece of art tha’ chu are!” And then you retort, “Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place?” And then you give him your number.

See how easy it was to waste two minutes of your time?