What could you buy for 80 bucks? You could probably use it to pay for a day at the slopes, if you were so inclined. But then there’s that whole thing about having to deal with foot pain and the cold and the showboating snowboarders with their flashy pants and wrinkly sunburned skin and meticulously bulleted and notarized final wills.

Or you could just play it safe and pick yourself up a Verbatim 2GB flash drive. At least this way when you die alone you won’t have to run into a tree to do it: You can just slowly wither away in your parents’ basement. Whee!