The image on the front says to use both hands.Fall is upon us, and we all know that means cold, lonely nights under the covers for us intellectually-superior bachelors. But before I lay my head down and cry myself to sleep, I like to open up a bag* of Hand Warmers (or for the sake of our devoted Spanish-speaking audience [all four of you], Calentadores de Manos) to make myself feel warm, fuzzy, and needed. And for those times when I’m feeling especially despondent, I open up a whole bunch more and then arrange them in the shape of woman*. Who I imagine it to be is usually a toss-up between Scarlett Johansson and Keyra Augustina, but that all depends on, wait, that’s too much information.

Either way, in case you’re not willing to hold out for a pair of Thanko’s USB heating gloves, these $1.50 packs are a great way to keep yourself toasty through the coming months (unless you live near the equator, in which case you are forcibly required to send me a first-class plane ticket so I can fly over and live in your tropical mansion and be stereotypically served by your harem of lovelies). And at an additional 20% off when you buy 10 or more packs of the stuff, these would make wonderful, cost-efficient, non-committal gifts. For instance, they could be stocking stuffers for those officemates of yours you don’t really like but still have to be on good terms with. You can also use them to drop hints to your boyfriend to do something about his clammy hands. You could also insert some in your grandma’s seat cushion and see how long it takes for her to get all hot and bothered**. The possibilities are endless!

*Half true.

**We do not encourage the use of this product on your grandmother, mostly because she could very well cut your out of her will. And you wouldn’t want to miss out on a chance to get your mitts on her priceless collection of knick-knacks, now would you?