cheap and tiny

Yeah, we’re on break. Can you tell? Back sometime in 2008 with new stuff.

Fruit Powered Clock. Just what it says, folks: it’s a clock that you plug into a fruit, so it runs on, like, fruity magic or something. Hey, I wasn’t listening in Physics class, okay?

Fruit not included. Found via The Annals (giggle) of Improbable Research.

Hammacher Schlemmer is practically giving away an iPod DJ Mixing Studio for $39.95. Two mixer discs let you scratch and mix, with effects, rhythms, and other goodies. I don’t see a catch yet. (Found via Engadget.)

P3 International Kill-a-Watt Electricity Usage Monitor. It’s said that when American revolutionaries ran out of wadding for their muskets, the Rev. James Caldwell came with a bunch of song books containing the hymns of Isaac Watts to use as wadding instead, telling them, “Give ‘em Watts, boys.”

And that’s just what this Electricity Usage Monitor will do, recording the electricity usage of appliances plugged into it and giving you their wattage. Get it? Get it? Huh? “Watts?” And the only thing cheaper than that joke is the price: the Kill-A-Watt Monitor goes for just under $20! So if you save a Jackson on utilities in a month because of this, it’ll have more than paid for itself! Then you can buy wadding for your muskets!

ReadiVac Mini Computer Vacuum. If you’re like me, you might snack at the computer a lot, spilling pieces of Kavli wafer thins with blue Roquefort cheese between the keys, gumming up the space bar with caviar and bits of fine, sweet, melt-in-your-mouth foie gras, maybe even occasionally spewing Chardonnay at the monitor in LOL moments. The butler hates those.

Now, if you’re not like me, it’s chips and cookie crumbs, and you need a handy USB-powered vacuum. It goes for $14.99, and seems to come with some sort of brush attachment.

Want to relive the glory days of the early 1980s, with Space Invaders and Asteroids and Breakout and Adventure and Matthew Broderick preventing Global Thermonuclear War by having a tactical super computer play Tic Tac Toe with itself? With the fortunate exception of the latter, check out these offerings from Atari, any of which can make a great Christmas gift for that weird middle-aged geek who lives in the basement and won’t shut up about how stupid games have gotten compared to the good old days of Pong and Frogger and Myst 1.

Atari Flashback 2.0. Designed to look like the old Atari 2600 (right down to the woodgrain!) and comes with two classic-syle Atari joysticks, and 30 classic games preloaded. Includes that age old favorite, Pong. (Only now you don’t blow all your hard-earned paper route money on Pong quarters.)

Atari Classics 10 In 1 TV Games. If you want to go smaller, get just a joystick — one that plugs straight into your TV and plays 10 of the most recognizable classics from the golden age of Atari gaming, including Asteroids, Missile Command, Breakout, Adventure, and Gravitar. Runs on 4 AA batteries and comes with A/V cables to plug into your TV’s video-in ports. Easy as Betamax.

Atari: The 80 Classic Games in One CD. If you’re one of those jerks who goes around saying “Oh, is this something I’d need a TV to understand,” this one is for you! The Atari Classic Games CD comes with 80 games (or did I just say that) for 1 or 2 players and runs on any Windows PC (sorry, Mac users — of which I am one — but the old maxim about Macs and games comes through again). You don’t get the classic woodgrain and joysticks you would get with the above systems, but it’s cheap and needs just a computer to run.

Remember the SD/MMC Card Reader Roundup, from oh so long ago? Well, forget it. That entry is effectively obsolete.

This is a $1 Card Reader. That’s right. One dollar. It handles SD, MMC, MINISD, RSMMC, and MOBILE (whatever that is), and it costs one dollar. One. Dollar. A single greenback. Uno smackeroono. No rebates or any other hoops to go through besides shipping. One dollar. That’s like, cheaper than a can of diet soda in some places. So go get it. What are you waiting for? Did I mention it costs only a dollar?

Oh, and it’s blue.

You know how much I paid for a 1GB SD card just six months ago? I’m not going to tell you. Let’s just say that writing this entry has left me in tears.

• OEM 2GB SD Card: $26
• Transcend 2GB SD Card: $26.99
• Kingston 1GB SD Card: $12.50

(Note: that last card is ONE GB, not two. Don’t come crying to me after you click “Buy” because you thought you could score a two gig card for $12.50 but you didn’t read the entry closely enough and only noticed when it was too late. I’ll have no tears for you! None!)

*sniff*

Philips Keychain Digital Camera for $16.96. 352 x 288 resolution (that’s over one-tenth of a megapixel!), 2MB internal memory, movie mode, self-timer, webcam capability, and is really, really small. Did we mention it can go on a keychain? Just don’t try starting your car with the camera, because, well, you’ll end up with blurry close-up photos of a keyhole, and we don’t want that now, do we?

It might also be available for a bit cheaper than that at the counter of your local Discovery Channel Store, so go check that out. I’ll wait here.

The GoPro Hero 35mm Wrist-Mounted Camera: perfect for seeing just what it was like for your wrist when you and your skateboard “shredded” that public park handrail right into your family jewels, much to the amusement and consternation of passers-by who were already shaking their heads at your wacky teenage antics. Now get offa my lawn, ya little whipper shnappers.

The camera isn’t yet available from Target via Amazon, but you can order it now for $14.99 and hopefully it’ll be in stock with time to spare for Christmas. Also check the Marketplace link on the product page for third party retailers who already have it in stock, possibly for cheaper! Should make a nice stocking stuffer.